January: a time of change

A Time of Change...

January is the month when we are ready to take on the new year by setting goals and resolutions. It's the month when we look at the year past...happy times, sad times, negatives and positives and hope to foster change for the year ahead.

January 2011, I set three goals for myself: enjoy being a first time mom, lose the baby weight in preparation for my sister's spring time wedding and achieve some DIY home projects. I was the stereotypical 30 year old woman.  The first few weeks of January were not easy. The holidays were over, everyone was back at work and I was home--alone--with a newborn (with the occasional visitors) but, I knew this was my "new" life and I couldn't complain. I had a bundle of joy who stole my heart.

On Monday, January 24th, my resolutions and goals faded away when I received the unexpected news of my dad's death. A death that has left a heartache that could (and would) not be healed. Over the past four years, I have dreaded the month of January. I wake up each year on January 1st filled with anxiety and fear. I spend each day wishing I could hide in a corner until the month is over.  I go through each day in a daze and asking myself if there was something I could have done to change the outcome and think about would I would say, if I could talk to my dad one more time.

Half way through 2014, I promised myself I would change. I knew it wasn't healthy for me to continue life in such unhappy mood. I promised myself I would change the way I viewed the world and the death that has changed me. As the year drew to a close, I knew the biggest challenge would be the month of January. Slowly, I am getting over the anxiety of fear that I have felt the past three years during the month of January.  I have hope and faith that in time I will continue to heal.

It's amazing how in the blink of an eye, life can change forever. I wake up each day and remind myself that I need to live for that specific day: to do my best at work, to be thankful for my husband, for the two little girls that call me mom, my family and so much more.

There are two things my dad always said and I will carry with me each day: "Be thankful you woke up today because you never know when it will be your last. " and "Life's a piece of shit, so, always look on the bright side of life!" (He loved that song from Mighty Python").

 Today, there will be tears, but through them, I will promise to look at the bright side of life.

Kathleen

“If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together.. there is something you must always remember. you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. but the most important thing is, even if we're apart.. I'll always be with you. ~Winnie the Pooh

Amelia: glasses and preparing for a tonsillectomy

Amelia with her new pink glasses!

Amelia has had quite an eventful summer thus far. Over the past year we noticed Amelia snoring heavy during the night and tired (even though she had a lengthy sleep) during the day. We suspected enlarged tonsils so, we took her to an ENT at CHOP early spring for an evaluation evaluation followed by a second opinion a few weeks later at DuPont.  Both doctors concluded her tonsils were enlarged and needed to be removed.

While we were giving ourselves time to process the idea of surgery another curve ball was thrown our way.  On Sunday, June 1st Amelia woke up with crossed eyes and told us she saw two of everything. This was the first we notice anything with her eyes so, we quickly took her to the local ER. At the ER an evaluation was completed and inconclusive. The doctor did not see any damage to the eye and recommended we follow up with a pediatric ophthalmologist. 

The next day I called the pediatrician and asked for Amelia to be evaluated before calling an ophthalmologist. During the appointment, the doctor conducted a series of test and did notice her eye turning inward. Due to the sudden onset, he wanted to rule out any type of neurological issue.

On Friday June 6th, Tim and I took Amelia to DuPont for an MRI of the brain. The doctors administered a moderate sedation and monitored her closely (due to her enlarged tonsils and possible apnea). Amelia was a great little patient and recovered quickly.Words can not explain how I felt that day. BUT the staff at the hospital were amazing. We thought we had to wait till Monday for the results, but as we were driving home, the nurse from our pediatrician's office called and told us the scan was clear!

So, next up was a visit with the ophthalmologist. He evaluated Amelia and explained that she is far sighted and her eyes have been straining which resulted in her crossing of the eyes. So, we went shopping for glasses. Of course the options were limited as Amelia only wanted pink :)

Amelia loves having her nails painted

Once Amelia was settled with her glasses, we made the appointment for her tonsillectomy on 8/11/14.  On Monday we will venture to DuPont hospital for the procedure. We have faith the doctors, nurses and staff will take good care of our little girl. We are also hoping for a speedy recovery. On the plus, she'll have a ice cream only diet for a few days!

Amelia in OCMD

Amelia, Clara and I getting ready for a Target shopping trip!

Clara: Happy 1st birthday

Dearest Clara,

I just laid you down to sleep, your very last night asleep as a "baby". Tomorrow is your first birthday. Tears fell as I put you down...it's a bittersweet moment. I can't believe you are already one!! The past year, I have been your everything. Your source of nutrition and comfort. I will miss those quiet moments in the middle of the night when it was just the two of us.

While, I'm sad to see those times go, I am happy for the times ahead. This will be the year your personality continues to develop. I am already so proud of the loveable girl you are today. My heart melts when you hug me and kiss my cheek and when I hear you babble "I love you" (I know that is what you are saying).

So, sweet baby girl, I love you with all of my heart. Thank you for the joy you have brought us and making us a family of four.

Love you always.

Clara: nine and ten months

Where has the time gone? I can't help but ask myself that question when I think about how quickly the past three months have gone.

Clara transitioned from crawling, to walking with assistance to walking independently the past three months.

She continues to babble and says (attempts) momma and Amelia. She loves to sing and dance especially when the Frozen soundtrack is playing on the radio! 

Tim is her world and squeals in delight when he walks through the door. 

During the day she loves to eat little crunchies, puffs, oatmeal, yogurt and veggie pouches. 

She loves to play with the kitchen set, farm, blocks and Legos! 

And her favorite is bigger sister, Amelia :)

Clara:Seven and Eight months

Seven and Eight months

Clara has really grown this past month. She is crawling all over the place, standing at her activity table, walking a few steps while holding on and babbling away!

Those top two teeth and trying to pop through!

She spent the month of November enjoying the leaves and crisp fall air. Her very first Thanksgiving was spent with the McCarthy clan, Papa T and Nana at our house.

Clara enjoyed the month of December with many fun activities: her first visit to Santa, celebrating her big sister's birthday with a penguin-themed party and a visit to Hershey park and Christmas!  One not-so-fun thing was her first double ear infection. After trying a second antibiotic, she was on her way to feeling better :)

Clara:Six months

Six months

November 15, 2013

Clara celebrated her first Halloween as a lady bug this year. She spent the evening with her sister and the majority of her Thomas cousins. 

Clara has been on the move the past few weeks. She rolls around to get to her toys and has been trying to crawl. And within the past week, she has been attempting to pull herself to a standing position. 

She is continuing to explore the tastes a variety of foods.  The doctor gave us the go ahead with soft cheeses and snacks!

Clara has her two bottom teeth! Will she get her top two in time for Christmas??

Stats:

Weight: 15.8lbs

Height: 26.75 inches

Happy 3rd Birthday Amelia!

Dear Amelia,

Tomorrow is your 3rd birthday! You have grown into such a beautiful, smart, fun, caring and imaginative young girl. You arrived at 9:06am on Saturday December 18th, the moment my life changed for the better. You remind me daily how precious life is.

This past year you have taken on the role of big sister. You did so without jealousy or anger. You welcomed Clara with open arms and enjoy teaching her about life.

Thank you for being a wonderful daughter. I look forward to watching you grow this year.

Love Always,

Your Mamma :)