Life

Life

Today, I left the office and walked for the train a few hours early. As I walked, I felt my throat closing, eyes welling and just an overall sense of panic. In just a few short hours, I will be looking at two grieving parents who lost their 15 month old daughter suddenly and unexpectedly last week. How can I comfort them? Why did this happen to such an innocent child? Why? Why? Why?

As a mom of three young girls, my heart hurts. It's a hurt and ache that is difficult to describe. I'm going to pause and take a few minutes to center myself as I prepare to send my condolences to Matt and Kristie. 

Well, it has been a few days since I attended the Celebration of Life for Teagan Rae.  The composure of Matt and Kristie are etched in my memory. There are heroes in my eyes. They stood their for hours as people came to pay their respects.  They put together an afternoon of food, drinks, chocolates, videos, pictures, memory books and people from every aspect of their life to celebrate the short-lived, but full life of their daughter. In a time of such sorrow, they found the energy to put together a tribute that will forever be in my mind. 

As I listened to the stories Ray shared of Teagan on behalf of Kristie and Matt, my mind started to think deeply of the concept of life. Maybe the simple lesson here is, live with the same joy as a young child. Wake up happy, enjoy simple things such as swinging on swings, climbing a mountain in Colorado and being with our friends and family. Simply enjoy each and every day...the present. Our time on this Earth is not promised therefore; we must make the best of it.

I'm still left with the achy heart and the desire to be a super hero and change this for them. The most I can do is send them all of the love and comfort I can. I'll sign off with the poem that helped me when I was grieving the sudden loss of my dad:

If Tomorrow Starts Without Me

If tomorrow starts without me, and I'm not there to see.

If the sun should rise and find your eyes all filled with tears for me

I wish so much you wouldn't cry the way you did today. While thinking of the many things we didn't get to say.

I know how much you love me, As much as I love you, and each time that you think of me, I know you'll miss me too;

But when tomorrow starts without me, Please try to understand, that an angel came and called my name, And took me by the hand

And said my place was ready, in heaven far above, And that I'd have to leave behind all those I dearly love.

But as I turned to walk away, A tear fell from my eye, For all my life, I'd always thought, I didn't want to die.

I had so much to live for, So much left yet to do, it seemed almost impossible, that I was leaving you.

I thought of all the yesterdays, the good ones and the bad, I thought of all that we had shared, and all the fun we had.

If I could relive yesterday, just even for a while, I'd say good-bye and kiss you and maybe see you smile.

But then I fully realized, that this could never be, for emptiness and memories, would take the place of me.

And when I thought of worldly things, I might miss come tomorrow, I thought of you, and when I did, my heart was filled with sorrow.

But when I walked through heaven's gates, I felt so much at home. When God looked down and smiled at me, From His great golden throne,

He said, "This is eternity, and all I've promised you." Today your life on earth is past, but here life starts anew.

I promise no tomorrow, but today will always last, and since each day is the same way, there's no longing for the past.

You have been so faithful, so trusting and so true. Though there were times you did some things, you knew you shouldn't do.

But you have been forgiven, and now at last you're free. So won't you come and take my hand, and share my life with me

So when tomorrow starts without me, don't think we're far apart, for every time you think of me, I'm right here, in your heart.

- Author Unknown