Maternity leave is officially over. Today is my practice day. I successfully woke up at 4:30am, nursed and changed Clara and left the house by 5:40am. Tomorrow I will go through the same routine, with one added step, I'll take the train to the University of Pennsylvania.
The past ten weeks have been awesome! I was able to enjoy every minute and really soak in the joy of my newborn and toddler. Maternity leave with Amelia was not easy for two main reasons. 1. Being a new mother is stressful! The first five weeks of Amelia's life I worried constantly if she was eating enough. This in turn caused me to be irritable. 2. I lost my dad without warning when Amelia was five weeks old. So...sadly those last five weeks of maternity leave were a blur. Needless to say several months of Amelia's life are blurry.
I've spent the past two years feeling so guilty that such a joyous moment in my life was overshadowed by grief. I am now able to let go of that guilt now. I made up for lost time with Amelia and I enjoyed every moment. She is my little firecracker and reminds me just how special life is. She also reminds me that Pop-Pop is still around. Just last week, she told me she saw him working on the building on our car ride to Target. His memory lives on within her.
And sweet Clara has reminded me that newborns are a pure joy and there is no better job then being a mommy. Watching her grow over the past ten weeks has been amazing! She went from a sleepy newborn to an active infant too quickly. I will miss the closeness of being with her throughout the day.
While, I will miss my girls tremendously throughout the day, I am excited for work. Working is a big chunk of who I am. I strived to be a successful career woman and want to continue to challenge myself. I hope my girls understand why I made the decision to have a career when they were young. I hope they learn from my successes. Because woman can have it all.
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